– after talking with the mae chii mentioned here, i’m given garlic-free food again. Mae chii sukjai’s special task. in fact, there are still two bhikkhunis staying here, they just don’t eat in the diningroom. so the kitchen nuns don’t prepare food just for me, which makes it easier for me to deal with this extra-service.
– the kitchen nuns are so much better at heart then i will ever be.
May i learn humbleness and be worthy of their help.
– dear shinmei dokujo i answer your here: no, i don’t feel like copeing. But i meditate enough not to stir up in mind. I won’t change thaiculture, thaiwomen have to do it themselves.
– i make people cry … A girl asked for a blessing, when i finished she had tears in her eyes; another girl cryed while i gave her instruction and later everytime she spoke with me and another girl’s eyes were full of tears when i gave a dhammatalk about buddhist basic knowledge.
– pawn, a very tough thaiwomen, ‘not scared of anything’, comes when she sees me and either kneels down or hugs me and sais ‘i love you’, i love you, your my mother’.
it would be eventually o.k. if i were a great being, worth it but trust me i’m not.
life is easier alone in the forest.
– ‘now get rid of your attachments’, sais ajahn. When trying, i want to escape, fall asleep, do some cleaning … facing the attachment to ‘my’ dog led 3 times to uncomfortable sleep while sitting in meditating. i just block. told it ajahn, he laughed.
– i’m asked to go to germany, warburg in october to help ajahn with a retreat. Hope to see some of you! More on this later.
– yesterday we did first paritta chanting for ajahn Tongs birhday which is on sept. 21.
– skipping 2ond paritta chanting and do some hours of meditation instead, guess that’s in ajahn Tong’s sense. Although it would be a good excuse not to meditate …
– o.k., so far i see that attachment is just a state of mind, getting rid of it is not more than a change of mind, as it seems. Knowing this doesn’t mean that i automatically can do it.
– through with paritta chanting. Was tired and lazy a few days, which means i meditated only 10 hours instead of 12 – 14. Wanted to sleep more, almost could not get up after 4 hours.
Then felt strong again, need more mental power and concentration …
– The try to sew a pair of long under-trousers failed. Have to try again otherwise it will be dam cold in germany.