monsters

in report i told ajahn that i saw a greedmonster with big eyes and big mouth sitting in my chest, with long thin fingers it tried furious to get, to reach, to hold, to cling and was hurting me with it’s sharp nails. i told it not to worry, cause i’m going to end it’s suffering.
i had unusual strong pain in my chest. no wonder maybe, after 8 hours walking and sitting meditation without break.
last night at about one, while sitting down after walking meditation the chest craked open loud.
little greedy one is still there. we had muffins this morning, after having eaten mine suddenly i was given more, and more, in the end i ate 3 and took 2 to the room.
as result: stomach ache and ants in the room. you see! happyness turns into suffering quickly :o)
getting up after 2 hours sleep is easier now. since more then a week i sleep between 0 – 4 hours at night, without cheating at day, honestly, 12 – 16 hours meditating. i wonder how long i can do but decided to do until either i fall asleep walking, feet are bleeding, vassa ends or defilements are eradicated. [my bet: fall asleep walking]

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