Reality

one of the people who gives me almsfood in the morning is dying slowly. He has some knods on his through and they get bigger and he can’t swallow anymore. Since a considerable time he can only drink. He went to hospital but they say they don’t know what it is. I guess it is throught cancer but what do i know.
Once i saw his dog with a big ugly wound and i thought it going to die, so i gave it a blessing. From that day on it healed. I don’t have healing powers, they started to put some treatment on the wound a few day’s earlier and that showed effect. I thought nobody of them saw me giving the blessing but the daughter did. Next day they came to ask for a blessing for the father. He got it – but i told them that i can not help, not heal.
Everyday i go there and receive my almsfood, everyday i give him an extrablessing and sometimes a electrolyte beverage or soymilk, if i have. Everyday the old father is getting less, his heart is ok, he says only he cannot eat.
I understand the rule of monks and nuns, that they should not heal, not give medicaments. I can not anyway and i have none, so no danger for me to break this rule. If i had powers, for example and would use them, i would have to either leave the village right after or heal everybody else as well.
Better is to prepare them for dead, take away their fear and give them faith that dying is nothing to be afraid of.
My thai is no good enough for this, that makes me feel ashame. I see his decay, the fear in his eyes and can do nothing but give him a blessing.
He was a troublemaker, when he was feeling better, the other monks refused to go to him on almsround, because he was disputing and yelling sometimes. He changed completely and i am happy that i did not give him up.

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