End of detremination

Tonight i will finish my determination, will give this body a rest, ly down and sleep.
It is a great experience, though, just as it is, with having been all alone suddenly, with getting less food, every single thing that happend. Excluding the cold in the morning maybe. :o)
Interesting how easy it was.

The buddha was fully enlightendafter 7 nights, ananda after 9 nights. In my case: i could determine 100drets of nights without sleep and with standing on the head or something like this – i would not achieve what they did.
Maybe later … :o)
I could see clearly some defilments, could get rid of some, know how much work there’s left to do and for now i’m just greatful to have the chance to do this.
Seeing myself as a little dhamma sprout, i have to say, it’s not good for sprouts in general to be taken off the earth and left without supplement. but i am one of the kind that grows everywhere. In some places better, stronger, with a lot of fruit when harbor comes, in other places [like for expl. a monastery in a city] not so good and little fruit.
I could not get rid of the attachment to “my dog”. And i’m not shure if i will be capable to before it’s dead.
There are other clinging objects and attachments, but non of them alarming or out of control. To be noticed, observed and let go when the time comes.
Talking of clinging, today’s almsfood: SALAD, i almost was about to hug the woman who gave it. Salad is rare here. And i had my fun observing my nervous greed while opening the plastic bag … Than i had soysprouts, col, choko / bananamuffins, cookies, kakies, drinkingjogurt … and lots more. Plenty and the finest.


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