decision made

since last post I spend some time on Formetera, another Balearic Island, which is ver, very quiet, especially in winter. Everything is closed, only few people there, those who do not have enough money to leave or those who love being alone.
The mediterranian sea was calm and the sun was shining so bright and warm that it could have been may. a fact that pleased me as much as it worries me. The almondtrees here on mallorca are florishing, on fromentera they were almost withered.
We always have a mild period in january it is called the winters summer, but almondtrees should defenately be florishing in midfebuary.
It was possible to put worries about climat changes aside for the stay and enjoy the warmth and the bright shining light fully, with every cell of the body. Walking for houres on the beach and on the rocks, sitting and watching the glimmering and glittering sea, taking nude sunbathes.
And everything felt like doing it for the last time.
After being back home in Mallorca I realiesed that a descision was made.
I have to become a nun for at least one year.
In thailand it is possible to desrobe after a while and become a monk or nun again if so wanted.
Meditation was not very deep the last day but at least I walking and sitting. I miss the forestmonastry and deep meditation. It seems as if it is not possible to be deeply meditating or go in peaceful cessiation surrounded by all things and animals you love.
Today I talked to the other monk who ordained for 2 month, he is back in Holland and has to find a job as well. He said he feels lost. Oh, how I know how he feels now. So good talking to him we chanted a little bit together …
our teacher told me a few days ago when I called him that he has a new center with a cave that will open in july. He left the former one some weeks ago.


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